After the brawl between the LA Dodgers and the San Diego Padres yesterday, this has led me to youtube for at least two hours watching some of the best baseball fights.
There is something just overall “better” about fights during baseball games. We all know in football, the game basically is just one big fight, plus they are wearing padding. There are rarely fights in basketball (pussies). And hockey is OK, I guess. It is basically the only reason I would ever watch a hockey game.
But, oh, baseball. You will have my heart forever.
I found this little gem while searching. My main love of baseball, baseball fights, PLUS ARod and the Sox? Whoa. Watch out.
The Urban dictionary’s definition of where I will be attending graduate school.
ACPHS has been over-loading minds and torturing young adults since it’s birth in 1881. It is known to be the leading cause of premature (meaning under the age of 25) gray-ing of the hair. ACPHS takes pride in its lack of grass and its abundance of mud. Unfortunately, ACPHS commonly sees its fair share of campus rapes. The victim is typically stressed, exhausted, brain-dead, and hasn’t seen the sun in about a week. The violator is tricky and cunning and can take the shape of either a scantron, or blackboard. But recently the college has been working hard to fix this problem. For example, a Coldstone Creamery was introduced to the campus just this year so that rape victims can take in ten times the allotted # of calories for one week in one sitting. This solution does not completely eliminate stress but it is proven to effectively put off stress, and if you’re lucky, add a complimentary bundle of guilt. All in all, ACPHS has successfully shaped many optimistic, bright young students into jaded, and depressingly apathetic adults. The institution looks forward to looking over your application as soon as possible (And by looking over your application I mean begin collecting your soul).
I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like him wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the worlds biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaing a size 2, because Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much!
And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl.
It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who basically is the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain.
It’s pretty clear. He may be happy, he may say you’re the coolest girl ever, but he’s saying it because he got his way. He’s calling you a Cool Girl to fool you. That’s what men do: They try to make it sound like you are the Cool Girl so you will bow to their wishes.